I Can Taste It

Four pounds to go

Remember when I told you about how I didn’t think any weight loss would happen while I was sitting on my butt answering the phones at work?  I’m not sure if it was a fluke but I am now four tiny pounds from entering One-derland!  Part of me wants to start in on the 5 Day Pouch Test to push me over the edge of this crazy number.  If you haven’t heard of this method it basically follows the rules all of us Bandies know we have to follow the first few days after a fill.  Or for that matter the first few weeks after surgery.  The first two days are for liquid proteins only **insert dirty joke here**.  Day three is for soft proteins like soft fish and eggs.  Day four is firm proteins like ground meat, shellfish, and firm fish.  The last day is solid protein (non-ground chicken, turkey, beef, etc).  Throughout these five days you have to get in the minimum 64 ounces of water we are all told that we need to get in anyway.  Part of the results from this process is breaking any carb dependence.  Since I don’t really tolerate carbs all that well most of the time I don’t think this will be a huge part of it for me. Except the pessimist in me knows that I consume carbs that I don’t think of as carbs (sugars for instance).

The one thing that is making me pause before deciding to do this program is that I am afraid.  Yes, I am afraid.  Scared that I will see a lower number during this pouch test and once it is over I’ll go back to a higher number.  I know this sounds silly but it is what I am feeling.  Everyone bounces around with their weight.  Even those who are at their goal weight fluctuate by a few pounds.  I can’t tell you how scary it is to me to think that I will finally see something starting with a tiny little ONE only to see that one turn back into a TWO.  We all learned in school that there are just a few ounces that separate that ONE and TWO but my brain is having a hard time really “getting” that part.

With my port revision in January I haven’t had the same kind of losses that others who had surgery the same time have experienced.  This is a very individual process so I shouldn’t compare my journey with anyone else but I do.  I am on Lapbandtalk.com and a section on their forums is very hard for me to read.  It is made up entirely of people who have had surgery the same month and year that I had mine.  Since we are so close to our one year band-iversary people are starting to be more active on this part of the board.  It comforts me to read that several others have had tougher complications than what I have experienced.  But it is the people who have lost huge amounts in the almost year we’ve been banded that make an impact on me.  I’ve pretty much avoided that particular board.  I’m in this for me.  No one else.  Forty-five pounds in eleven months is amazing (!) and something that I will keep reminding myself.  It took several years to gain all of this extra and it will take time to rid myself of the same extra.

Back off Mrs. Bucket! I'm not you.

Advertisements

One thought on “I Can Taste It

  1. Pingback: Princess Piddle Pants « Midwestern Ramblings

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s