Stress

Stress is a funny thing.  Sometimes it presents as binge eating (as some of my classmates can attest to), binge drinking, crying, hiding, over-sleeping, and even random acts of escape.  Everyone handles stress differently.  I think it’s as much the kind of stress as it is the kind of person you are.  I have eight finals that will span just over week.  Before I started my first doctorate trimester I asked a friend that had just finished her first tri(mester) for some idea of what I could expect.  Her answer was “lots of wine and tears.”  I thought she was joking.  I had no idea how right she was.  A lady at school that specializes in dealing with the mess that all of us students can be offered these words of wisdom, “tell your loved ones that their plans for gatherings should be fluid and make sure they understand that holidays and birthdays will have to happen even if you can’t attend.”  Again I thought she was joking to a degree.  I was wrong again.  

Drinking helps for some but there’s a fine line when that can become dangerous.  Some of my colleagues have turned to spirituality.  Since I’ve never actively embraced a religion this one is hard for me, although mediation and praying the mala helps me to decompress.  If you’re not familiar with a mala it’s similar to the Catholic rosary but based in Buddhism.  It’s composed of 108 beads and each one is passed through the fingers (depending on what you’re praying for or focusing on you would use different fingers).  It’s to focus on a meditative thought.  This link can help to explain it a bit better. 

Now if you’ll excuse me I have some beads to focus on.

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Feelin’ Groovy

What stress?

Stressed doesn’t even begin to describe how my summer has been.  Nursing school has been applied to so that’s not a real issue… paying for it when the promised scholarship through work has been cut due to lack of funding is a huge problem.  The last rerequsite class has also had to be dropped for a similar reason (different scholarship but same story).  So frustration all around. 

I had a great weekend taking time for myself and escaping the stress for a few days.  Not really wanting to go back to work or think about school.  But that’s what makes us grown-ups, right?  When I was going through my morning routine I was taken by surprise by the number on the scale.  I found not the usual 178-180 but a new number not seen in I have no idea how long. That’s right friends 175 popped up today! 

No, your eyes are not playing games with you.  A woman posted her actual weight for all the world to see.  I am that happy about this change!  I’m exactly 75 pounds down from where I started almost two years ago.  There is a bit of light in my gloomy little corner of the world.

75 pounds lost and not missed
75 pounds lost and not missed

Days 4 and 5 Pouch Test

I’m not proud of what I’ve done but I will admit it.  I had a very rough day yesterday.  We’re talking so mad I was bawling at my desk.  So my lovely little car made a detour to the liquor store and purchased a bottle of peach vodka.  Naughty little car.  After a few glasses of this sweet hootch mixed with oj (we’re calling this one a screwy navel) my troubles were much farther behind me.  I know drinking to make the bad things go away isn’t a good path to go down but really I can count on one had the number of times I have had any alcohol since being banded on one hand (and this was a first for the hard stuff and for stress relief).

The stressful issue has been resolved as of this afternoon and all is better.  Now, how did the firm protein day go?  It went.  I can really tell that my internal portion control is back but a bit frustrating that I haven’t lost any weight.  Still the same as when I started the pouch test (ok there was a day or two when I was higher but that was totally a TOM thing).  Today is back to normal foods.

Will I do the pouch test again?  I wouldn’t be opposed to it.  Was it hard?  Not really.  I could never even imagine doing this before being banded though.

Have a good weekend everyone!

pssst… school is back in swing for me so it may be sparse over here.  Then again I’m taking a comp class so I could have all kinds of creative things to torture you with post.